I was nervous to start work, excited too, but nervous for the reserved shy girl inside. Afraid of meeting new people, afraid of leaving my kids for the majority of the day. Of course I knew I had to get a job, because Lord knows I wouldn't have otherwise...
But starting new chapters can be scary. Change can be scary. When I found out I was prengnant with Addison, I was scared, among other feelings of joy and excitement, the future was uncertain, I was scared of the unknown. And when I met her, and finally held her in my arms, my heart melted and forgot the fear from nines months before.
I feel like everything is falling into place, I love my job, I am learning so much about myself, and actaully feel myself growing, becoming a better person. And in turn it makes me a better mother. A mother who will teach through example that it's important to work, to work hard for the things you want, to help people in need, and less fortunate than yourself, to always be giving, putting others before yourself. To love all people, the same, no matter what color skin they have, or what disabilites or handicapps they possess.
Those things, I have seen, and have learned do not define a person. A person is definied by the things they do, the way they treat others, the good they do. The courage they have to stand up for others.
I have had my wishy-washy-not-sure-if-Im-doing-whats-best for my baby days, when I feel emotional or over tired, or stressed from a hard day at work. I have questioned whats right and wrong, and thought hard about my choice. Some days regretting it, missing my baby so much.
One thing I know fo sure - I have such a deep respect for working mothers, super moms who seem to be able to do it ALL, AND have a clean house, and polite children. The juggleing act of parenting is setting a list of priorites, and working from the top.
For every family it's different. My TOP priority is family time, with my kids. taking walks, making dinner, having dinner TOGETHER, talking, watching movies, doing crafts. Sometimes housework gets left behind, but at the end of the day, with a pile of clean clothes in a laundry basket, and two sleeping babies next to me, I never feel more complete. and not a shread of guilt.
In ten years I wont remember a pile of dishes, neither will my children. They will remember this.
From me to you, have a good weekend, and week!
Today was the first day of Fall, and in this house,
that is reason to