Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day

This weekend was a rainy wet one, but we had a great time.
I asked Keith earlier if he remembered what we did last Memorial day, because I couldnt recall, he couldnt either, Addy was a newborn, and I was recovering from my surgery I suppose I didnt do much.
But I decided to title my post adter the holiday so if I forget again I can just look back
Looking back at the pictures, it seems impossible for Addy to be this big:
walking, talking, and so observant
We did spend all memorial day outside, where the weather turned around, we took a picnic lunch at the animal farm,


Sunday, May 19, 2013


Tonight we enjoyed my Mothers day gift my family surprised me with

I m sort of easy to buy for, I mean I carry a little wish list, so I don't have to know what I'm getting, but my family knows I am going to like it at the same time, because I wanted it.

This is the perfect gift,

Tonight we gathered round our pit and roasted marshmellows,

When we came in for bathtime, we all smelled like campfire.

A heavenly smell

We also had a date night, which is so nice to enjoy each others company and spend time together

I love this guy

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


This weekend was a magical one. One that left me in a pile of emotions, ranging from happy, proud, and a little sentimental..

My baby girl is one year old, I cannot beleive it.

We celebrated at our house, with what was planned to be a backyard BBQ, that ironically turned into a sardine canned inside party, where guests gathered shoulder to shoulder to celebrate little Addy. Where so many people who love my daughter took time to let her know, she is loved. She has a support system and that will never change.

With the.. let's say diveristy of my family, with the size of it, I am lucky, and my children even luckier, To have so many realatives to turn to, to love, to spend time with and make memories with.

It's a truley amazing gift.

She is lucky enough to share her birthday with her grandmother, a special bond I know all too well,

And I was lucky enough to celebrate Mothers Day with my grandmother and with my own mother, and of course my kids.

Being a mother is so amazing, it has taught me more about humanity, and humility, and love than I ever learned the first twenty years of my life.

The benefits come in smiles, and the look on my childs face when they have accomplshed something new, or the snuggles I get at bedtime, or the wresting and laughing that comes when Daddy plays

I am blessed.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

three hundred and sixty-five

Last year around this exact moment I was sitting  in the dark, with my husband sleeping sounding, and Austin at meme's, awake and waiting anxiously for the safe arrival of my daughter.
It was magical, the reality of a new chapter was tangible, I could still feel her moving under my belly, just hours from meeting her. I was nervous and excited and could hardly sleep
Over the past year, my newborn became a crawler, and is almost a walker
She seems to know that I am grasping onto baby-hood and is giving me the few exrta days to relish in it. Because she is so close to walking it aint even funny
Sweet Addison was born weighing 9 pounds and 1 oz. and now weighs 25 lbs
Addison loves her brother something ferice, and he seems to always know how to keep her busy when Im making dinner, and ALWAYS can make her laugh
Addy sleeps through the night, and is switched over to cows milk entirely now
Addy spends her days at Nanas with brother, and comes home to play in the afternoons with the family.
Addys LOVES to eat, There is not a food she won't eat, and with the GUSTO of a 200lb weight lifter. Food is her friend :)
This year went by in a whirlwind of emotions and memories.
Addison, you came into our lives and into our hearts. We love you more than life, and could not imagine life without you.
365 days have gone by, and I love you more each day.
Happy Birthday my sweet love


Thursday, May 2, 2013


I've spent the last few days in a haze of emotions and hormones, you'd think I was an eight month pregnant chick fighting over the last pickle jar, when the smallest of Halmart commericals can make you tear up you know you got a problem.
But, in my defense my baby is turning one next week, and I call still feel her inside me, I can still lay down in my bed, and feel her body moving under my skin, so close yet so far.
I still can taste her new skin on my lips in the OR, and feel the fear of hoping she was okay in the NICU. I remember bringing her home and nursing her for hours into the night, not caring about sleep, because she was my baby girl and I wanted to stare ate he forever.
I remember when she first rolled over, and first passed her blood tests and didnt need anymore. I remember when she went to daycare for the first time, and the heart-tugging feeling to sit in the car before driving to work.
I remember when she got her first tooth, and when, this week, she started walking.
My daughter, her eyes are so full of life, and innocence. Inside her is the future, and I, her mother hold the key in determining how she will choose to live her life.
I cannot belive it's been a year, it went by too fast, and yet I feel I have known her my entire life.
We were destined to be together, I her mother, and her my daughter.
I can already picture baking together, and ballet, and boyfriends, and makeup and graduation and  her wedding.
I can see our life together, and cannot imagine life without her.
She changed my soul, showed me my capacity of love - that my heart has the capability to endlessly grow.
She continues to teach me, and continues, like a rubber band, to show me my ability to love more, give more, and beleive in more.
And, least I forget ( how could I ever)
The little boy, who is not so little, who made me a mommy
Who taught me what love was to begin with.
I was going to write about our experience with Teeball after our first day this week, I was going to write things about his shyness, and how I felt like I was denying him something by giving him too much attention. But I didnt, I was too emotional to write, I was in my own world, processing my feelings.
What I learned was, as a parent we each do what we think is best, what we know to do, and we each try our hardest. At the end of the day whether you played with your child five hours, or read four books, or made homemade soup doesnt matter.
What matters is, did they feel loved?
Each day my sons knows these things. I love him.
No matter what, I love him if he's shy, if he's the class clown, if he plays piano or likes comic books.
This week, my son was uuber shy, I was worried about it, I thought about it for two days and when we went back for his second practice I saw the beauty of childhood.
He faced his fears, meeting new people is scary its intimidating, even if its doing something fun like baseball.
I also thought about it, and came to the conclusion that my son is not shy, he is quiet. He is reserved.
And that's okay. He is an observer, with a hell of a swing

I saw joy in his eyes, after getting over his uncertainty, I saw pure joy, when watching his coach, when running bases and playing with the other kids
when looking back to make sure I was watching his hit, or his catch

What I want to tell him is I will always be watching,I will always be proud


I tell him in hugs, and kisses, and high fives, in snacks and lego towers
I live for the joy. It is my fuel.
and these two are mine