Friday, April 29, 2011

cook-book's and catching up..

SO as you all know by now, I get overwhelmed at the thought of not having a bloody* job yet.
But, I have been keeping myself busy, by driving over to day-care/Gaga's house to help her make a cookbook.
I think I enjoy it so much because well yeah, 1) I love to spend time there, I mean I get awesomely fed at lunch time.. but also because I am over compensating the fact that I need to feel needed.. ( I took a semester of pysh)
I like feeling useful! My yard is beautiful, flowers are blooming, birds are happy, and my house is clean.

day lilies

rhbuarb, which I am a virgin to making/tasting

darn Mr. Squirril keeps empting our feeder

* like my british accent?? its in honor "of the biggest bloody wedding in this century"

So Austin and I have been going to nanas house everyday..

He hangs out with the kids, while I type out recipes, and sort them into categories ( that I color coded)

Today, he was the only little for a while, sooo cute!!

Look what he did!!

climbed in baby Seamus's walker

and couldn't get out

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

that kind of day...

Today was one of those, men would think I was pmsing, just an emotional roller coaster days.

I spent most of the day at margarets house, which was fun.
However, once I got home, I felt this instant wash of emotion. Where I just let myself get so overwhelmed about work, and money, and family. and just everything.

And once I start, I get myself so worked up, I just need to be alone. no noise. Just me. and darkness.

So thats what I did, and luckily I have a wonderful husband, who just let me lay in my bed at 4 oclock in the afternoon, just laying there.

The truth is, today was just one of those days..

I was just laying around, and in came Austin and Keith.

Austin looked confused at me: mommy crying??

No, honey. Then he came up to me, and hugged me.

I am so blessed. with a healthy son, and loving husband.

We all have those days when we feel defeated, and we feel hopeless, and helpless.

After that, everything was fine. I started my second degree today. And got all my days homework in.
I got my son in bed at a decent hour, and spent some quality time with my hubb.

After we went to bed, as we were laying there looking at one another, where each night we talk for a while before dozing off to sleep.
I apologized for being emotional, but.. Couldnt get the words out.

I kept thinking about my aunt. She is such a wonderful women, and seeing her hurt makes me hurt. Seeing the love in her eyes for her daughter, who meant so much to so many people. When she talks about her - she is happy, yet sad too.

And maybe it was the emotions of the day rearing again, or maybe it was just the greiving process for my beloved cousin Loreda. Whom I miss some days more than others.

But today was just one of those days where you feel the wash of emotions- after you lose someone, its raw and real. And hard, and harsh. However, over time the pain is more bearable, and our faith tells us that she is in heaven celebrating for eternity with no pain and with legs! However in this world, the pain is unbearble, and not easy to swallow. Again, over time it gets easier to sleep, and eat, and eventually when you think about the person, you smile.

It wasnt even a year ago that Loreda passed away, and when I let the pain in, it is still as real as that day in July when I found out. baffled and unbeleiving.
I cannot find the words that describe the kind of helpless pain, that we are left with in the absence of family.

And yet somewhere in it, there is hope.

I really miss Loreda, every day I do, I dont cry everyday for the pain, but sometimes I do, and thats okay.

But I know that she is happy, and she is where we all are going. And again one day we will see her again.

But for now. I am just having that kind of day.

You were such a good person. And I dont miss you any less with each passing day!

Oh man, I miss you!


I have been done with school since March 15. And have applied to at least 50 job callings.
I have a resume, I have references that are applicable to the medical feild. I have experience with the medical feild.
And I have been called four times, one was a phone interveiw with an offfice that specializes with my FAVORITE specialty. and I botched it because I was at the doctors at the time..

I have two call and say that they were sending my resume out to the office, but no response..

I even had an in person interview, which I thought went well.

So either, I am a unqualified human being that no one wants to be apart of in their office.

I tried waiting, being patient.
I even tried being over bearing and caling back to seem interested.
And I am just so frusterated. I just spent 10 grand on this doggone degree, and even reenrolled in a new one for 20 more and cant even find a job.
Well thats not true, there are hundreds of postions, like my teacher said, " if your not finding a job, your not looking hard enough"
well.. I found 'em, but they dont seem to think I am good enough..

In school out teacher said, theres a difference between those who will get hired, and those who take the course but will never find a job.
I am starting to think I am the one that will not find a damn job!!!


Wardrobe change.

Yesturday, no joke.. FIVE wardrobe changes.. We got up, and all I wanted was to be outdoors to do the raking, and flowers. okay.

So, there isnt a lot of mud in our yard, but when you have a two year old son, he can find any mud puddle within a five mile radius, AND get stuck in it with his cute little sandles.

If this is any indication of our our summer is going to be, I better get a clothes line to save on the electric bill of doing so much laundry.

It really wasnt THAT bad.

But I think it was outfit number 2, when we took a stroll up to the neighbors, hung out outside, as austin slowly strolled down into the back yard, found a little pond type mud hole, and got stuck in it..

they cant see us..
Then we came home for an impromptu bath..

and it was more fun in the sun..

Austin LOVES his new bubbles

we went through a whole bottle..
We enjoyed our day outside, and we treasured it too.. For the next four days call for all RAIN!!

Oh, goodness, I almost forgot the best part of our day!

When Daddy got home we went out on a little motorized row boat, no fear in Austin about water and boats, and he looked so cute bunlded up in his clothes and life jacket.

I didnt snap any pictures, because it was a drizzleing..

Lets hope those May flowers will be worth all these April showers..

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Sunday

Easter was way late this year, but no one noticed on this great day! The weather was perfect, we were all in good moods, and jeez we had a lot of fun too.

The day started out early.
Austin woke up to a beautiful site...

some real..

some jelly bean filled

He had such a good time hunting for his eggs, and eating his jelly beans..

He would open an egg, eat a bean.. this lasted about 15 minutes..

At  breakfast Austin opened his basket. His face is was what I live for - the joy!!

 a few jelly beans later, we headed out to church, where we tried to get Bubba to play in nursery, but to no avail.
But he will hopefully warm up
* fingers crossed

Then we headed to meme's house, where to our surprise Nany, Joaquin and Cole were all visiting for our egg hunt, and ham lunch. ( and when I say ham, I mean our own rendition of a bolided ham, in the form of subs -- yummy)

The boys had not seen each other in quite a while, and really enjoyed playing together.

We had an egg hunt, and they all did really well, except for the part of wanting each others eggs..
But hey, what kids dont want more?? right?

Joaquin and his eggs

so serious

Showing off their loot..

Then it was time for lunch.. Where we all had subs.

making a business call during dinner
Then it was time for some baskets..

The biggest hit of the party, was by far the big bubble makers.

The boys LOVED them.


The boys played some more.

and we attempted to get a family photo..

he was trying to schooch his way out..

After we came home, we litteraly spent the entire afternoon outside, raking and playing, talking with some neighbors we know.. and LOVE!!

Our yard is coming along really nicely, and am so looking forward to our backyard summer.

We even ate a picnic ham 'suppah' tonight.

The way life should be..

On this Easter I am blessed, I am happy, and I am hopeful for the future - in all areas, especailly job-wise, I got a feeling that something is maybe coming my way.

*fingers crossed!

I hope your Easter was as full of love as mine was.

To many more holidays with the ones I love!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Spring as Sprung

With all the 'nice' weather lately, I find myself outdoors ALOT with Austin during the day.
On any given day the temp can get as high as 60, then drop pretty low at night, and I am all but assuming that must be where we picked out our current colds. Fever, chills, runny noses, coughs, and sore throats and chests. Does not a good night sleep make for mommy or child.

We took a little trip to the docs yesturday morning, after a SLEEPLESS night, and learned we wasted the money, because he just has a COLD. I mean yea, obviously doc. He just made a trillion for telling me my kid has a cold ..

But today was a rainy, thunder-y, and hail-y day. Austin is feeling a little better, and should be better 100% by Easter..

Yesturday we took a trip to the park, the first one of the year.
It had been a couple months since he was on a slide, and was fearful at first, his face said " mom I dont remeber this, I think its scary"
then at the bottom it said " can I go agaiiin"

and thats jsut what he did, go again. and again. and again.
And every time he got off, he said " again momma"
and I would say " yes honey, go again!"

Very cute!

After an hour and a half, some slidding and bubble chasing..
We headed to the all natural doctors.
NO matter what is wrong with you, if you go here you will ALWAYS be better afterwards.
They even have a 100% guarentee..

Here is a picture of Austin with the medicine they gave him..
( I had some too, and it was yummy)

with a cherry on top