Tonight is the eve to the birth of our daughter, I have made sure everything is in place, bags have been packed for weeks, my first born son is sleeping peacfully at Meme's house awaiting the call to come meet his "baby sister" . Family has called and wished me luck, sent their love and are no doubt sleeping peacfully also waiting for that call..
I, however will not sleep much. I want to remember every moment, I want to store every kick and hiccup in my memory bank for years to come. Every night this week, I have snuggled next to my son, whom I love so much, breathing in his skin, and recalling how small he once was.
The excitement of meeting my daughter is overwhelming, the power of a mother's love is so incredible.
I have been anxious all day, trading thoughts between excited, and nervous about surgery, worring about the possible " what could go wrong" scenarios but quickly reeling myself back into a peacful state of contentment and love.
This is the next Chapter in our life. A year ago we wouldnt have believed it, we have grown so much not only since being married, and having a firstborn, but also since growing up and aging slowly into our mid-twenties ( old, right?)
Back in December I told Keith, that 2012 would be a great year, and that we would grow so much, and be so happy. And Although April was a stressful month, with a variety of unexpected things popping up, May is here and as I drove home from school tonight where I left Austin with Meme, I turned off the radio and just thought all the way home.
Thought about how lucky I am, how much I am loved, not only by my husband who works his rump off for his family, who is faithful and smart and the best daddy in the whole world, but also the countless family members who love me with their whole hearts too, who also love my children and share in my happiness and success, and also who have held me when I have needed to cry.
Will be a happy day, one for the books, one for the RECORDs, I will never forget tomorrow, and its so real and tastes so sweet, that as I type, as the hours go by I am slowly nearing the final page-turn to this next chapter, one unfamilar and uncharted.
I am going to be a mommy to two littles. Two littles whose childhood and happiness lie in my hands, it is a job that I want, one that I hold in the highest regard. And let me tell you - It'll be good.
I am looking forward to showing my children unconiditonal love, teaching them kindness, and compassion, accepting who they are and what they want to be and do with their lives.
For forty weeks, well 39 actually I have carried my daughter, nurishing her body, helping her grow, her body totally dependant on mine. I am the only person she has ever known. My heartbeat her background noise.
The truth is, I am in love, in love my husband, the father of my children, in love with my son, the little boy who made me a mommy, and in love with my life, which is so sweet !