Monday, January 31, 2011

oh I feel so so so sappy!!

I dont know if its this month, the month of love, or if its my baby growing up, or my marraige going so great!!
But I have this urge to sing love songs all day, write poems, scream from the mountain tops how deeply I love these people..

I know, sappy people suck! And I always got annoyed when all people talked about was love, and happiness and all that junk...


How can you not get sappy.. look at this face..

my favorite picture

He is growing up so fast, and seeing him sleep in a big boy bed, and pee on a big boy potty, really gets me sentimental...
So much so I listen to Brian Adams and everything..

But its so true..The love a parent has for their child is so deep, and so strong, you really do feel like dancing..
and we do! ALLLL the time..

Then.. he takes a sharpie and marks my floor. It's reality..
 And the naughty, bad, and hard things evenly weigh the good, great, and GREATEST things. like Birthday parties, and Jokers, and sleepovers in the livingroom in our little sleeping bags..

I guess, life is all about finding a good balance, between the stuff that makes you wanna cry and the stuff that makes you so happy..

Its hard work, and you look at others and think,  "wow they really got their stuff together"
Everyone has an area they are lacking, and everyone trys their best, to be the best mother wife and workers..
Its tough work, balancing it out. But at the same time, its nessecary to have a rounded life.

I want to work so badly, I am so excited to go and start..
But on the opposite side, a part of me feels guilty for missing 8 hours of my childs day. Where he pees, and learns, and says new things.
I am at peace with all of it, and ready to go! But when he cries at the door as I leave for work, I always think
well maybe I should say a littlllle bit longer

But I cant, I have responsiblities, and I love that, I love having a planner FULL of things we need to do!

I guess what I am trying to say is.. The hardest part of parenting so far, for me anyway, is wondering if I am doing it right, wondering if I am going to mess up.

But I dont dwell on this, I take things I learned from my childhood, and mix them with Keith's, to make a perfectly imperfect way for Austin.. And he will probally do the same with his wife.

Its called evolving.. I just hope we do okay.. because I love this little boy so much!

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