Both my boys are fastly napping, and I am feeling theological....
I am not sure why it is so important to me, to follow through the act of going to church.
My hubby and I were raised differntly when it comes to religion, on the one hand we both had athesitic* families and home lives, which evenutally would lead us to similiar behavioirs,
but on the other hand, I also went to a private christian acadamy of 100 at most ( grades k-12) It is here I learned what religion was, what having faith meant.
It was there I learned, the different "catagories" of said religionious beliefs..
And it was there, that I learned that most people with the label of "christan" led the same lives of those in our familes, that had no interest in the God my peirs worshipped.
This is what lead me to my confusion.
Because, what was the point of worship, and organized relgion, if on the weekends, everyone went out and partied, got hammered, and went to church the next day?
This is why, after meeting my husband,( we were still teens) I backed off the church-going, bible thumping ways, I was mostly accustomed to.
Not to say, that Keith was the REASON.. But moreso, I was living in the actual "REAL WORLD"
and not the sheltered one of my highschool.
We have gone at times, and yes I still believe there is a God. I beleive everything the bible says, and teaches.
However, I do not belive that I can only go to heaven if I wear shirts, listen to classical music, have no tattos, and dont eat pork.
I respect those that respsect these ways of living, and have nothing againest them, their faith and devotion are something to look up to.
However, I am more realistic, I know that no matter how I live, what I eat, or wear, it boils down to one thing.
Do you believe? or moreso, were you a good person?. Am I proud of my life on earth???
And, with that, I try to take my mistakes and learn something from them, knowing that it is making me into a better, person, friend, daughter, wife and mother.
I have no reason to beleive otherwise from what I was taught from the bible, because I was convicted when I learned it, I was not hyponotized into wanting to feel close to the maker of the universe, and maker of my son. I was convicted, I felt it in my soul. It was real.
Perhaps, I have somehwere, lost those convictive feelings, and want them back. I desire to be cloesr and feel more close to the maker. Moreso, to feel like my presence on earth was purposful.
This is why, I want to go to church. Not to be conformed to some robotic movement, and worship-ness, because this would not be sincere, my desire to have all my feelings and actions come from the place, where I WANT it, I do it because of this, not because I HAVE to.
For the same reason, we both want, our children to have this feeling, so he can chose for himself what he belives, and what convicts his soul..
With all that.. I now have some whoopie pies to make..
Happy Race Day
ps gooooo GORDAN!!!